Cheryl Strayed’s book, Wild, chronicles her solo adventures on the Pacific Crest Trail. Her main reason for the journey? To find herself again. After the premature death of her mother, at age 45, to cancer.

In addition to mourning the loss of her mother’s person, she’s grieving having not yet finished being mothered. At 22, she was still in the process of pulling away from her mother, knowing that she’d return to their relationship stronger and closer once she’d gain her independence.

The feeling of not having finished mothering Clara is something I struggle with daily.

At 13, she was still a child. We had navigated the challenges of infancy (including time spent in the hospital), toddlerhood, pre-school and kindergarten. I had helped her become a proud big sister to Adam and nurtured her cheerful, happy nature.

We had worked through the mother-child separation of elementary school, the ins-and-outs of grade school friendships and the important lessons of honesty, charity, generosity and forgiveness.

I had helped her learn to speak up for herself (and others who were too quiet to speak for themselves). To dream big and develop a plan for making those dreams come true.

I encouraged her to write and draw and paint and to explore herself through creativity.

But at only 13, there was still so much more mothering to be done.

I am a person who always finishes what she starts. Someone who rarely leaves a job incomplete.

I am a mother who isn’t finished mothering.