Last month my 12-year old son, Adam showed me a homework assignment he’d just completed for French. A postcard to be sent to a fictitious friend describing himself, his family and his favourite activities.
In between “Je ne l’aime pas quand il pleut” (I don’t like it when it rains either) and “J’aime jouer au football” (which is actually soccer, a game we ironically play during the rainy season in Vancouver) were the words, “J’ai un frère”.
I have one brother.
Not “J’ai un frère et une soeur”. Just ” “J’ai un frère”.
While he’s technically correct and I know that the back of a 4 by 3 inch postcard meant to be graded by his French teacher isn’t really the place to describe the complexity of his family situation, I was taken aback by the frankness of the statement.
I have one brother.
It makes me worry that this is how he now sees himself. If this is how he’ll forever describe himself to the world. If he’s forgetting the sister who was such a central part of his life for 11 and 1/2 years.
That’s the thing about being a mom. There’s always something to worry about.
Tattooed on my Heart 
Thank you for sharing this blog with me. This is powerful. Did you talk to him about it? Is this how he sees himself? oxoxo
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Thank you for reading Susan. I did talk to him about it. And he brought home another ‘family’ assignment this week that made no reference to Clara. It made me sad and I told him so. I didn’t manage to get below his superficial responses, but suspect that he doesn’t want teachers and classmates to view him as different or ‘wounded’. All three of my ‘men’ are struggling with sharing their emotions. I have a big long post in draft about this…
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Oh Tamara … gut wrenching. I’m imagining that he doesn’t want the teacher to ask questions about his sister because his emotions are just barely hidden. So tough for all. xoxo
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Cathy, my head tells me this is true, but my heart still hurts…
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